THIS IS SURRATTS FOUNDATION E-NOTICE 2004-1 OF JANUARY 3, 2004

Hello Hornets:

Here are some items that may be of interest:

1. ANNUAL CAMPAIGN ANOTHER HUGE SUCCESS. Thanks to the generosity of the donors listed below, the Foundation was able to meet its goal for the 2003 informal annual campaign. Funds raised through the campaign will be used to provide the 2004 scholarships granted by the Foundation to graduating seniors, to pay for the benches and tables to be installed in the courtyards, and to pay for a showcase to house the permanent display of the School history compiled by Foundation Historian Shelby Lee Opperman. Your selfless contributions will really mean a lot to the great kids at Surratts!

2. HORNETS DO POLAR BEAR IMITATION. Joyce Shaw (61) forwarded to me this chilling email she received from Don Byroads (61): "Dear Joyce:
Today, with a temperature of 33 and the wind blowing at 30 miles a hour, we did our swim for the Special Olympics of Maryland at Point Lookout Park. My sponsor, Maureen Turner Wood, made a very nice donation in order for me to freeze my buns off, I appreciate her being my sponsor and thank her very much! I have attached three pictures, the first is a picture of the Coast Guard, who were in the water with us, but with all their insulated water gear on. The second is a picture of the three of us, Dick Wildes, Mike Darby and myself. And the third is a picture of me trying to break the sound barrier to get to a heated bathroom! We may be doing this again next year. Why don't you all come and join in! Don"

Congratulations to Don, Dick and Mike on this frostbite-defying accomplishment for a great cause! (Don's photos can be viewed on the Foundation web site at www.surrattsville.org.)

3. STUDENT SUMMER EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY. We got this nice job opportunity tip from Coral Kupfer (65). We've passed it along to the guidance office at the School, but it also might be of interest to some children of readers of the e-Notices. (Note the January 16, 2004 application deadline.)

United States Department of State-2004 SUMMER CLERICAL EMPLOYMENT PROGRAM ANNOUNCEMENT #: SCEP-2004 Closing Date: 01/16/04 POSITION TITLES: Clerks, Office Automation Clerks PERIOD OF EMPLOYMENT: May 2004 to September 2004
GRADES: GS-2/3/4
NUMBER OF VACANCIES: The Department of State is developing a rank-ordered register for Clerks and Office Automation Clerks for the
2004 summer period. The specific number of students to be hired will depend on need and availability of funding.
LOCATIONS: The Department of State at 2201 C Street, NW, Washington, DC and various State Department annexes located in the Washington D.C., metropolitan area.
AREA OF CONSIDERATION: All Sources
DESCRIPTION OF DUTIES: Office support duties include but are not limited
to: answering telephones and other receptionist-related duties; filing and maintaining office files; typing and/or using a computer terminal to perform various office functions including initial entry of drafted materials using a variety of computer software packages; reviewing outgoing correspondence for correct format, grammar, punctuation and typographical errors; photocopying and assembling reports and briefings for distribution, etc.
BASIC ELIGIBILITY REQUIREMENTS:
1. Applicants must be citizens of the United States.
2. Be at least 16 years of age at time of appointment.
3. Be enrolled or accepted for enrollment as a degree (diploma, certificate, etc.,) seeking student and is taking at least half-time academic/vocational/or technical course load in an accredited technical or vocational school.
4. Applicants must undergo a thorough background investigation to determine eligibility for a security clearance.
MINIMUM QUALIFICATION REQUIREMENTS:
GS-2 Be a high school graduate or have 3 months of clerical work experience
GS-3 Meet GS-2 criteria plus 1 year of college or 6 months of clerical work experience
GS-4 Meet GS-2 criteria plus 2 years of college or 1 year of clerical work experience KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS, AND ABILITIES REQUIRED:
Candidates should include a statement with their application form or resume that specifically addresses the required knowledge, skills, and abilities (KSAs) identified below:
1. Ability to learn general office administrative and clerical procedures for distribution of mail and filing of office documents.
2. Ability to learn office organization and functions sufficient to receive visitors, answer and route telephone calls, and assist in scheduling of staff appointments and office events.
3. Skill in communicating effectively (i.e., using tact and courtesy with regard to urgent calls, visitors and sensitive issues).
4. Ability to type (if apply for an Office Automation position).
5. Knowledge of grammar, spelling, capitalization and punctuation commonly used in office correspondence and reports.
SPECIALIZED EXPERIENCE: Preference points will be awarded to applicants possessing specialized knowledge of, and experience with, computer hardware and software applications associated with office automation (i.e. word processors, personal computers, printers, scanners, modems, word processing, graphics, database management, electronic mail, etc.). To be considered for an Office Automation position, applicants must demonstrate typing/keyboarding skills of 40 words per minute.
Proficiency must be certified in writing, or the applicant may self-certify their words per minute skills by indicating on a separate sheet of paper the number of words per minute that they possess. The statement must be signed and dated by the applicant.
Please note that if you make a false statement in any part of your application, you may not be hired; you may be fired after you begin work; or you may be subject to a fine or other disciplinary action.
APPLICATION PROCEDURES AND DEADLINE FOR SUBMISSION The following application and related materials are required and are part of this announcement, and become the property of the Department of
State:
1. Completed DS-1950, Application for Employment or Resume.
2. A certification of typing proficiency of at least 40 words per minute if applying for an Office Automation position.
3. A completed Employment Data Form. This is a voluntary form which is used for data collection only.
4. Transcripts (either official or unofficial are acceptable).
5. Due to intense competition and the required background investigation, applications must be postmarked no later than January 16, 2004.
6. Applications mailed in government franked envelopes will not be processed.
Mail Delivery Notice - We are still experiencing delays of several weeks for delivery of U.S. Postal Service mail of ALL types (Express, Priority, registered, etc.). Therefore, to avoid delays in the delivery of your application and to ensure that we can process all applications that meet the postmark deadline, we strongly urge you to send your application via a commercial delivery service such as FedEx, UPS, DHL, etc.
Send completed application package to:
Summer Clerical Program Coordinator
Bureau of Human Resources
U. S. Department of State
2401 E Street NW, Room H-518
Washington, DC 20522
202-261-8888

4. ACHIEVEMENT AWARD NOMINEES SOUGHT. This is the time of year when the Foundation requests nominations for its annual Achievement Awards.
Please send me an email if you know of a Hornet who deserves to be recognized in this way. The Foundation's web site
(www.surrattsville.org) features the Foundation's absolutely outstanding Achievement Award recipients to date: Mike Miller (60), Building Superintendent Gerald Pickeral, Charlie Cooper (52), Mary Kucharski (76), Gordon Hawkins (76), Kevin Fitzgerald (71), Bob Marr (71), and Roberta Padgett Taylor (53).

5. A BLAST FROM THE PAST. Here's a cool email I received from Tonda Varelli (65) that will really challenge the memories of some of you (and some of your parents and grandparents!): "Hi Henry: Here's a fun test for all those Surratts Baby Boomers. Dust off those neurons! There are 30 questions in all; answers at the end... No peeking! Tonda Varelli"

1. "Kookie; Kookie. Lend me your ________________."
2. The "battle cry" of the hippies in the sixties was "Turn on; tune in;________________."
3. After the Lone Ranger saved the day and rode off into the sunset, the grateful citizens would ask, "Who was that masked man?" Invariably, someone would answer, "I don't know, but he left this behind." What did he leave behind?____________ 4. Folk songs were played side by side with rock and roll. One of the most memorable folk songs included these lyrics: "When the rooster crows at the break of dawn, look out your window and I'll be gone.
You're the reason I'm traveling on, _______________.
5. A group of protesters arrested at the Democratic convention in Chicago in 1968 achieved cult status, and were known as the ________________.
6. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on the _______________show.
7. Some of us who protested the Vietnam war did so by burning our ________________.
8. We all learned to read using the same books. We read about the thrilling lives and adventures of Dick and Jane. What was the name of Dick and Jane's dog?______ 9. The cute little car with the engine in the back and the trunk (what there was of it) in the front, was called the VW. What other name(s) did it go by? ___________ & __________.
10. A Broadway musical and movie gave us the gang names the______________and the ________________.
11. In the seventies, we called the drop-out nonconformists "hippies."
But in the early sixties, they were known as ________________.
12. William Bendix played Chester A. Riley, who always seemed to get the short end of the stick in the television program, "The Life of Riley."
At the end of each show, poor Chester would turn to the camera and exclaim, "What a ____________."
13. "Get your kicks, ________________."
14. "The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed ________________."
15. The real James Bond, Sean Connery, mixed his martinis a special way:
________________.
16. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle,_______________."
17. That "adult" book by Henry Miller - the one that contained all the "dirty" dialogue - was called _________.
18. Today, the math geniuses in school might walk around with a calculator. But back in the sixties, members of the math club used a _________.
19. In 1971, singer Don Maclean sang a song about "the day the music died." This was a reference and tribute to ________________.
20. A well-known television commercial featured a driver who was miraculously lifted through thin air and into the front seat of a convertible. The matching slogan was "Let Hertz __________."
21. After the twist, the mashed potatoes, and the watusi, we "danced"
under a stick that was lowered as low as we could go in a dance called the________________.
22. "N-E-S-T-L-E-S; Nestles makes the very best...________."
22b for two extra points what was the dog's name?
23. In the late sixties, the "full figure" style of Jane Russell and Marilyn Monroe gave way to the "trim" look, as first exemplified by British model ________________.
24. Satchmo was America's "ambassador of goodwill." Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was ________________.
25. On Jackie Gleason's variety show in the sixties, one of the most popular segments was "Joe, the Bartender." Joe's regular visitor at the bar was that slightly off-center, but lovable character,
________________. (The character's name, not the actor's.)
26. We can remember the first satellite placed into orbit. The Russians did it; it was called ______________.
27. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking?__________.
28. One of the big fads of the late fifties and sixties was a large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist; it was called the ________________.
29. The "Age of Aquarius" was brought into the mainstream in the Broadway musical ________________.
30. This is a two-parter: Red Skelton's hobo character (not the hayseed; the hobo) was ________________.
30b. Red ended his television show by saying, "Good night, and ________________."

ANSWERS
1. "Kookie; Kookie; lend me your comb." If you said "ears," you're in the wrong millennium, pal; you've spent way too much time in Latin class.
2. The "battle cry" of the hippies in the sixties was "Turn on; tune in;drop out." Many people who proclaimed that 30 years ago are Wall Street bond traders and corporate lawyers today.
3. The Lone Ranger left behind a silver bullet. Several of you probably said he left behind his mask. Oh, no; even off the screen, Clayton Moore would not be seen as the Lone Ranger without his mask!
4. "When the rooster crows at the break of dawn, look out your window and I'll be gone. You're the reason I'm traveling on; Don't think twice, it's all right."
5. The group of protesters arrested at the Democratic convention in Chicago in 1968 were known as the Chicago Seven. As Paul Harvey says, "They would like me to mention their names."
6. When the Beatles first came to the U.S. in early 1964, we all watched them on the Ed Sullivan Show.
7. Some of us who protested the Vietnam war did so by burning our draft cards. If you said "bras," you've got the right spirit, but nobody ever burned a bra while I was watching. The "bra burning" days came as a by-product of women's liberation movement which had nothing directly to do with the Vietnam war.
8. Dick and Jane's dog was Spot. "See Spot run."
9. The VW was known as the Beetle, or more affectionately, the Bug.
10. A Broadway musical and movie gave us the gang names the Sharks and the Jets.... West Side Story.
11. In the early sixties, the drop-out, nonconformists were known as beatniks. Maynard G. Krebs ("The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis" TV show) was the classic beatnik, except that he had no rhythm, man; he had a beard, but no beat.
12. At the end of "The Life of Riley," Chester would turn to the camera and exclaim, "What a revolting development this is."
13. "Get your kicks, on Route 66."
14. "The story you are about to see is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent."
15. The real James Bond, Sean Connery, mixed his martinis a special way:
shaken, not stirred.
16. "In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight."
17. That "adult" book by Henry Miller was called Tropic of Cancer.
Today, it would hardly rate a PG-13 rating.
18. Back in the sixties, members of the math club used a slide rule.
19. "The day the music died" was a reference and tribute to Buddy Holly.
20. The matching slogan was "Let Hertz put you in the driver's seat."
21. After the twist, the mashed potatoes, and the watusi, we "danced"
under a stick in a dance called the Limbo.
22. "N-E-S-T-L-E-S; Nestles makes the very
best...........chaaawwwww-c'late." In the television
commercial, Chocolate" was sung by a puppet - a dog. (Remember his mouth flopping open and shut?) 22b - The dog's name was Farfel.
23. In the late sixties, the "full figure" style gave way to the "trim"
look, as first exemplified by British model Twiggy.
24. Our parents shared this great jazz trumpet player with us. His name was Louis Armstrong.
25. Joe's regular visitor at the bar was Crazy Googenhiem.
26. The Russians put the first satellite into orbit; it was called Sputnik.
27. What takes a licking and keeps on ticking? A Timex watch.
28. The large plastic ring that we twirled around our waist was called the hula-hoop.
29. The "Age of Aquarius" was brought into the mainstream in the Broadway musical "Hair."
30. Red Skelton's hobo character was Freddie the Freeloader. (Clem Kadiddlehopper was the "hay seed.") 30b. Red ended his television show by saying, "Good night, and may God bless."

6. TERM PAPER GEMS. Here's an interesting email sent to me (by a correspondent whose identity I have lost!) listing some collected gems recently included in the term papers of college students. Presumably, none were educated at Surrattsville!

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two other sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a Guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM.
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p. m. instead of 7:30.
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.
The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at
4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
Even in his last years, Grandpappy had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
"Oh, Jason, take me!"; she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night.
He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
The knife was as sharp as the tone used by Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee
(D-Tex.) in her first several points of parliamentary procedure made to Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill. ) in the House Judiciary Committee hearings on the impeachment of President William Jefferson Clinton.
The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
She was as easy as the TV Guide crossword.
Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.
Her voice had that tense, grating quality, like a generation thermal paper fax machine that needed a band tightened.
It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.


I hope your 2004 is off to a great start!

Best regards, Henry Smith (71)


2003 FOUNDATION ANNUAL CAMPAIGN DONORS

Pat Becker Oles (71)
Henry Smith (71)
Donna Rae Sturtevant Smith (70)
Kristine Seaquist Easley-Agee (70)
Lee Pascasio (64)
Steve Profilet (71), in memory of Doris Profilet Coral Ann Kupfer (65) Carol Tisdale Whitsell (64) Richard Neilan (82), In Memory of Charlie Waddell Homer Revis (56) Joan Revis (61) Eileen Johnson Ford (75), In Memory of Charlie Waddell Anon, In Memory of Col. Francis O'Clair Robert Kane (68) Paul Monaghan (59) Helen Bovhjerg Niedung (54) Edward Jaffe (65) Scott McWhirt (71) Michael Cassidy (87) Suzanne Meilert Fields (71) Jim Turner (71) Barbara Misiewicz Bailey (63) Carol Fite Mothershead (65) Larry Mothershead (65) Melissa Gilcrest (69) Nancy Oursler Maynard (65) Tami McDowell Ayres (77) Thomas V. Mike Miller, Jr. (60) Pamela Roundy Hicks (63) Lark Bergwin Anderson (71) Leslie St. Clair (70) Richard D. Duke (47) Victor Negron (71) Anne Noyes (Former Faculty) Michelle Wilson Block (68) Carol Kramer (71) Mike Gifford (84) Denise Hope (72) Vicki Forsht Williams (65) Peter Williams (64) Ellen Talbert-Miller (61, and former faculty/administrator), In Memory of Mr. Pryde Dan Bayne (71), In Memory of Charlie Waddell Jane Edwards Robison (54) Sherri Koch Gay (71)